Invisible

Angela Mazza

Teacher: Mr. Welsh / Principal or Director: Mr. William Floyd

Ocoee High School, Ocoee, Florida, USA

This morning I woke up and discovered I was invisible. I have spent nine months preparing myself for his arrival and now that he is here I am invisible to her.

Maggie and I have been waiting since senior year to start a family. Here we are, twenty-eight years old and happily married. We got pregnant only a year after our wedding. During her pregnancy I was everything to her. She and I spent our days devoted to each other. Now that what is supposed to be the happiest time in our life together, I have never felt so apart.

This morning I woke up and she wasn't in bed. Because she has to stay home with the baby, I am working double-shifts at the factory. I slept in and was running late for work. I had no time to look for her. I hopped in the shower, got dressed and headed towards the kitchen where my usual breakfast should have been waiting. When I got half way down the hall and didn't smell bacon and eggs I was perturbed. I thought to myself, "What did I do to deserve this?"

I heard Maggie's muffled voice cooing from the direction of the nursery. I stuck my head in the door. I didn't have time to question where she had been all night, and I mean all night, or this morning or where my Jimmy Dean breakfast was. I simply said, "Leavin' for work." She didn't even look up as she rocked back in forth in the nursery chair. She quickly replied, "Mhm. Love ya. Bye."

From then on my day was all jumbled up. I poured coffee grounds down my front in the break room. I dropped ketchup on my good work pants and I hit a blue jay on my way home. When I got to the house Maggie was hosting her New Mommy's Book Club in the living room and there was no dinner on the table. At this point, I was so mentally and physically exhausted that the censor in my brain was no longer functioning. 11 let out a loud and over exaggerated, "Urghhh!" The women in the living room replied with seven glares.

I was so upset by now that flailing my arms and. stomping my feet was the only way I could express myself. Maggie was obviously embarrassed by my juvenile behavior. Her eyes met mine across the room as she mouthed to me with the most pitiful expression on her face, "Please." I walked lethargically down the hall towards our bed room. As I passed the nursery I could hear the baby fussing. Maggie called from the living room, "Can you check, please?"

I stepped into the room and walked over to the crib. My son was crying so violently that every ounce of his little body was put into each wail. He was red in the face when I reached down for him. I picked him up and I could feel all the anger and frustration escape me. I rocked him back and forth in my arms, soothing his tears as he soothed my agitations.

Now I'm sitting here rocking my baby boy back to sleep. It has been three hours since I had come into this room. I am paralyzed in this chair as I feel his tiny fingers clasping to my shirt as he dreams. I can feel his little chest move in and out on mine as he breathes. I am captivated and in heaven. This is worth it all. It is worth the stain in my pants and the feathers on the grill of my car. This is worth the sleepless nights and the absence of eggs in the morning. This is no longer Maggie and I. This is our family and I know that when I wake up tomorrow morning in this rocking chair that I will look down at my son looking back at me and I will be visible.