The Not So Big Bad Wolf
By: Julia Schuchard
Ms. Wrigley 's 9 Grade; Principal or Director: Ms. Corley
Brookwood High School, Lawrenceville, Georgia, USA
My name is Jonathan Wolf III and I'm here to tell you what really happened between Little Red Baseball Cap and myself. I am most offended by all the silly rumors about me trying to eat Little Red Baseball Cap. You see, I just happen to be a vegetarian wolf. So would you like to know the real story of the day I first met Red?
One morning as I was taking a stroll through the woods I spied a girl on Rollerblades carrying a backpack full of delicious food. Seeing it made me realize how very hungry I was, for I had been awake almost all night working diligently on my idea for opening a vegetarian restaurant.
"Miss," I called out. "My name is Jonathan Wolf III."
"Mine's Little Red Baseball Cap," she told me. "But you can call me Red."
"Red, would you mind sharing a little of the food you're carrying?" I asked politely.
"No! You can't have any! My mother sent me to take this to my sick Granny!" she replied haughtily.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know." Thinking of Red's dear, sick Granny, I instantly felt the need to do something to help. "May I go with you to visit your Granny?" I inquired.
"Sure," she said.
As we were talking a strange feeling crept up on me. I looked around uneasily but saw nothing. I later learned that a lumberjack working in the woods that day was watching us. I tried to ignore the disturbing feeling, and soon Red and I were on our way to Granny's. Red skated on ahead, but I walked fast and managed to follow Red through the woods.
When we finally came out on the other side. Red spotted some friends.
"Hey, Red!" a girl hollered.
"Hi, Cinderella!" Red called back.
"You've gotta come check this out! Some egg fell off a wall, and all the king's horses and men are gathering just a few blocks away."
"Wait, Red! Tell me where Granny lives and I'll go on ahead," I offered.
"It's at the end of Mother Goose Lane. You can't miss it!"
With that Red was gone. Following her directions, I soon spotted Granny's condo. I quietly walked up the front steps and rang the doorbell. When Granny didn't let me in, I figured she was too sick to get out of bed. Finding the door unlocked, I opened it slowly, hoping I wouldn't disturb Granny.
I found her lounging on her bed, enthralled by a soap opera on TV. But little did I know that Granny hadn't heard the doorbell ring or the door creak as I entered, for she was a little hard of hearing. Because of this, I am sorry to say Granny was quite frightened.
"Ahhhhhh!" she cried.
Immediately Granny leaped out of bed, ran into the closet, and locked it behind herself. I hurried to the closet door.
"Granny, don't be scared," I tried to assure her. "I just came to keep you company until Red arrives with your lunch."
"What? You want to eat me for lunch! Go away!"
I realized it was no use.
It was then that I noticed the bed on which Granny had been lying. Now please keep in mind I had been awake almost all night pondering my plans for the vegetarian restaurant. And as the bed looked so comfortable and inviting, I felt it would be all right if I lay down. And it would only be decent to put on some nightclothes before I got into bed. Since I didn't have mine with me, I borrowed Granny's from her dresser. I had just gotten settled in bed when Red walked through the door.
"Hi, Granny!" she said.
I looked around the room, wondering if Granny had come out of the closet without my noticing. Red continued speaking.
"I've brought your lunch, but I can't stay long. I'm. . . uh. . . in a hurry," she said.
It was then that I realized Red thought I was her Granny. Before I could say anything, Red was talking again.
"Granny, what big ears you have!"
"Red, I'm not. . ."
"And what large green eyes!"
"You don't underst-"
"And hairy arms, too!"
I wanted to make her understand that I wasn't her Granny, but the babbling girl wouldn't let me finish a single sentence.
Then Red exclaimed, "What sharp teeth you have. Granny!"
And it was exactly as she said this that I let out a perfectly enormous yawn. It was a normal thing for a wolf who had been working late into the night to do. But as I yawned, the fateful second event occurred. I realized Granny had made a call on her cell phone to her son, the lumberjack who had been spying on me. For in that moment the outraged lumberjack burst into the room. Seeing me sitting in front of Red with my mouth wide open he cried,
"Don't you dare eat that girl!"
"But I wasn't trying to. . .""I'm calling the Fairytown police!"
At this I scrambled to my feet to calmly explain myself. But the mistaken lumberjack thought I was attacking him. He conked me on the head with one of his logs, and the next thing I knew I was sitting in ajail cell downing a month's supply of aspirin.
Of course, the newspaper and TV reporters didn't think of interviewing me. They went to the impolite Little Red Baseball Cap, the angry lumberjack, and the nearly deaf Granny. And the ridiculous story of the mean old wolf who tried to gobble up the defenseless little girl was born. But at least you know what really happened that day. And now you'll have to excuse me while I call my lawyer.